Morrybyte's "Fuck Me I Was Pissed Last Night" Hangover Omelette...

Morrybyte's "Fuck Me I Was Pissed Last Night" Hangover Omelette...


Guaranteed to make you feel fantastic. It doesn't require effort and is easier than anything else that requires cooking. May cause slightly sticky pan, use a teflon one if possible. Ace because all the weights and stuff are just made up - throw in what you feel like throwing in, the important part is how to do the eggs.

What you need:

- 3 eggs (4 if you're a fat bastard, 2 if you're on a diet or something)
- 200-400g of cheeses (doesn't matter which as long as they're hard.pfft, i wrote hard. In fact, just take any cheese you have that's about the size of your mobile phone - unless you've got one of those nifty slim ones).
- Ham, mushrooms, peppers, anything else you can think of. No potatos, they require too much effort.

Method:

Now, take your eggs and break them into a bowl (no eggshells, not cool. Pick them out with the finger you just scratched your arse with, mix with fork until the yellow stuff has mixed with the white stuff perfectly. May require a bit of speed, but we've got time. It is, after all, sunday morning. You can also use one of those mixer things, but they make a loud noise and I can't stand that with an already pounding brain.

Ok now leave that on the side, heat up the pan on the lowest setting whilst you reach for the cheese. It might be tempting to just use the brick of cheese you have now, but that would take too long to melt. The idea's a good one though, I respect your clarity of mind. Sorry, but you're gonna have to get the cheesegrater out. I tend to have done this step the night before, for some reason I find grating cheese hilarious when drunk. Go figure... Anyway work away, taking care not to open your arm up on the evil machine. You can use a knife instead and slice it into little squares, it's also fine.

Slice ham into about the width of sellotape and the length of your thumb. I said about, dont spend ages figuring it out. Peppers, well i get mine pre-sliced (Editor's Note - LAZY MORRYBYTE), but if you don't then cut one in half, take all the crap off and out and cut it into thing longish pieces. Next come the mushrooms, again, pre-sliced (What is the world coming to? - Ed) is ideal but if they're fresh just cut them into thin slices from the top down.

Throw all the stuff in with the eggs, mix until it's a thick, guey mess. Smells awesome, looks a bit rank.

The pan should be warm by now, turn setting to about middle, melt a slice of butter and spread around pan, pour in sludge. You should have the required equipment here, so get that pancake flippy thing that you never use anyway. Wait for the stuff to go a bit harder, you'll notice the bastard top isn't cooking. Using said pancake flippy thingy, lift the omelette a little and look underneath. Has it hardened yet? Is there any liquid flowing down? If not and it hasn't burned yet, turn it around. May look a bit worse the wear for it, dont worry it doesn't affect the taste.

When done, take off cooker, throw the omelette onto a plate or two. You're ready to tuck in, but not before the you put the pan into the sink, and turn the tap on for pleasing gush of steam.

Add salt/pepper. Looks absolutely disgusting, but is amazing.

Yumyum pig's bum!