As submitted by MooCow_Byter
This is a bastardised version of the traditional Scottish meal, and is lovely and filling with a smooth, rich gravy. Good for cold nights or comfort food.
Don't worry too much about the exact quantities of ingredients. The ones given will serve several people, depending on how greedy they are, but you can easily scale up or down.
You will need:
4-6 Potatoes. The big, floury, baking kind.
Minced Beef. 800g is good.
An onion, or two if you want.
Oil, butter or fat.
A can of beer. Lager gives best results.
2 stock cubes. I prefer chicken, but beef or vegetable are fine, too.
Seasoning - pepper, chopped parsley, herbs, whatever you have.
A big pan with a lid.
Optional: button mushrooms. I like them, but they aren't essential.
How to do it:
Heat the oil in the pan and add the chopped onion. Cook it until it's soft, but not brown. In the meantime peel the potatoes and slice them thinly. You might want to chop them in half first if they're especially big. Put them in with the onions and stir so that everything is covered in oil. If you're using mushrooms, chop them up and add them now, too.
Put the lid on the pan and leave it on a low heat for ten minutes or so. Then add the beer, and crumble in the stock cubes. Now cover the pan and cook on the lowest heat you can.
Once the potatoes are cooked (probably about half an hour, check back and stir from time to time), add the mince and mix it all up. Season to taste, and turn up the heat a bit so that you have a slow simmer. Leave the whole thing for at least 45 minutes, although anything up to a couple of hours is fine.
You can serve with bread or oatcakes if you like, but it's fine by itself, too.
Showing posts with label Main Course. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Main Course. Show all posts
Sunday, 16 December 2007
Mashed Up Chicken Pie
As submitted by Hooker1UK
Mashed Up Chicken Pie
(bit like shepards pie but i like it)
What you need: -
Chop the potatoes, and boil them until ready to mash. Whilst they're cooking chop the chicken into chunks and fry it off until cooked through and nicely browned.
Once potatoes are ready, mash them carefully to ensure there are no lumps (this is important) adding, milk, butter and tiny amonuts of salt/pepper
Make posh gravy up, make sure it's not too watery it needs to be a bit stodgy
Place cooked chicken and stodgy gravy into casserole dish.
Place mash on top of gravy and chicken
Slap in the oven for about 20 mins until mash has crisped up on top
(Don't forget to make some veg up to go with it or it looks pure boring)
Mashed Up Chicken Pie
(bit like shepards pie but i like it)
What you need: -
4 chicken breasts
Posh chicken gravy,
Potatoes
Butter
Milk
Salt and pepper
Large casserole dish
Posh chicken gravy,
Potatoes
Butter
Milk
Salt and pepper
Large casserole dish
Chop the potatoes, and boil them until ready to mash. Whilst they're cooking chop the chicken into chunks and fry it off until cooked through and nicely browned.
Once potatoes are ready, mash them carefully to ensure there are no lumps (this is important) adding, milk, butter and tiny amonuts of salt/pepper
Make posh gravy up, make sure it's not too watery it needs to be a bit stodgy
Place cooked chicken and stodgy gravy into casserole dish.
Place mash on top of gravy and chicken
Slap in the oven for about 20 mins until mash has crisped up on top
(Don't forget to make some veg up to go with it or it looks pure boring)
Cabbage Rolls
As submitted by Mongychops
1 medium cabbage
1/4C rice
1C water
1C milk
1/4 - 1/2lb minced steak (lean beef mince)
1/4lb minced pork
1/3C milk or cream
1&1/2t salt
1/4t white pepper
1 egg (optional)
2T butter for frying
1T brown sugar
2C beef stock
pan juice for gravy
1&1/2T plain flour
1/2C cream
salt, pepper, seasonings
Use a large boiler/saucepan fill with water and bring to the boil.
Cut a 'V' out of the base of the leaves, where the stem is at its thickest, in order to cut the stem out.
Boil and blanch a couple of cabbage leaves at a time (until they go bright green). Remove and place on a clean tea towel, or paper towel.
Rinse rice in water, then cook in boiling water (1C of water), until the water disappears.
Add the milk (1C), cook slowly until the rice is tender, then cool.
Add to mince, egg, seasonings.
Get a cabbage leaf and place approx 2t of meat mixture (depending on leaf size), and place near the base of the leaf. Fold 1 side of the leaf in, over the meat, then roll up roll from the bottom once. Next fold over the other side of the leaf, and finish rolling up the cabbage roll. Fasten the roll with 1 or more toothpicks. Repeat as many times as required.
Heat butter in fry pan (preferably an electric fry pan).
Brown rolls on all sides.
Sprinkle with brown sugar.
Pour stock over rolls.
Cook slowly until tender, basting occasionally (for about an hour).
Combine the cream and flour, and add to the pan juice.
Stir until boiling, then reduce temperature and then simmer for approx 5 mins.
Serve on a bed of rice with the gravy poured over the top and a dollop of sour cream on the side, or in the center.
Finally make sure you cook it with love.
(Editors Note - My favourite Londoner visited Sir Pigeon Nipples in Australia a few month ago. He came back full of Guinness and a love of all things Oz-like, but most of all, he was impressed by Sir Pigeon Nipples' wife's cooking. He sent me this recipe for the blog. It's origins are Polish, but it reminds me a little bit of Greek Dolmades.)
Cabbage Rolls
INGREDIENTS (t=teaspoon, T=Tablespoon, C=Cup)1 medium cabbage
1/4C rice
1C water
1C milk
1/4 - 1/2lb minced steak (lean beef mince)
1/4lb minced pork
1/3C milk or cream
1&1/2t salt
1/4t white pepper
1 egg (optional)
2T butter for frying
1T brown sugar
2C beef stock
pan juice for gravy
1&1/2T plain flour
1/2C cream
salt, pepper, seasonings
Use a large boiler/saucepan fill with water and bring to the boil.
Cut a 'V' out of the base of the leaves, where the stem is at its thickest, in order to cut the stem out.
Boil and blanch a couple of cabbage leaves at a time (until they go bright green). Remove and place on a clean tea towel, or paper towel.
Rinse rice in water, then cook in boiling water (1C of water), until the water disappears.
Add the milk (1C), cook slowly until the rice is tender, then cool.
Add to mince, egg, seasonings.
Get a cabbage leaf and place approx 2t of meat mixture (depending on leaf size), and place near the base of the leaf. Fold 1 side of the leaf in, over the meat, then roll up roll from the bottom once. Next fold over the other side of the leaf, and finish rolling up the cabbage roll. Fasten the roll with 1 or more toothpicks. Repeat as many times as required.
Heat butter in fry pan (preferably an electric fry pan).
Brown rolls on all sides.
Sprinkle with brown sugar.
Pour stock over rolls.
Cook slowly until tender, basting occasionally (for about an hour).
Combine the cream and flour, and add to the pan juice.
Stir until boiling, then reduce temperature and then simmer for approx 5 mins.
Serve on a bed of rice with the gravy poured over the top and a dollop of sour cream on the side, or in the center.
Finally make sure you cook it with love.
Monday, 16 April 2007
Mistress Spam's Soy Chicken and Veg Fried Rice.
Mistress Spam's Soy Chicken and Veg Fried Rice.
Ingredients:
- Diced Chicken breast
- Kikkoman or Sharwoods Soy Sauce (it's very important you use either of these brands as the rest are too sugary)
- Chilli Powder
- Petit Pois
- Julienne Carrots
- Chopped Bacon
- Long Grain Rice
- Black Pepper
- 2 Eggs
And anything else you think might taste nice fried in with the rice.
Method:
Cook the rice first, drain and leave to sit in a bowl covered.
Fry the chicken in a tiny bit of oil until nearly cooked and then add a generous splash of Soy Sauce so that all the chicken is browned in it, and sprinkle with Chilli Powder. Once fully cooked place to one side and wash the pan/wok as the bacon needs to be cooked in a very clean pan.
Steam the Peas and Carrots for 2-3 mins until al dente, line the pan by wiping it with kitchen roll that has salt and oil on it. fry the bacon then whisk 2 eggs and add to the bacon whisking as cooking. Next, add the veg to pan and stir fry for 1 minute, then finally add the rice and fry with Soy Sauce until the rice has a brown coating, grind black pepper over the top, add the chicken and serve.
Ingredients:
- Diced Chicken breast
- Kikkoman or Sharwoods Soy Sauce (it's very important you use either of these brands as the rest are too sugary)
- Chilli Powder
- Petit Pois
- Julienne Carrots
- Chopped Bacon
- Long Grain Rice
- Black Pepper
- 2 Eggs
And anything else you think might taste nice fried in with the rice.
Method:
Cook the rice first, drain and leave to sit in a bowl covered.
Fry the chicken in a tiny bit of oil until nearly cooked and then add a generous splash of Soy Sauce so that all the chicken is browned in it, and sprinkle with Chilli Powder. Once fully cooked place to one side and wash the pan/wok as the bacon needs to be cooked in a very clean pan.
Steam the Peas and Carrots for 2-3 mins until al dente, line the pan by wiping it with kitchen roll that has salt and oil on it. fry the bacon then whisk 2 eggs and add to the bacon whisking as cooking. Next, add the veg to pan and stir fry for 1 minute, then finally add the rice and fry with Soy Sauce until the rice has a brown coating, grind black pepper over the top, add the chicken and serve.
Prem1um's Very Moorish Curry.
Prem1um's Very Moorish Curry.
A Very Moorish Curry
Feeds 4-6
Ingredients:
15g Cumin seeds
5g grated Ginger
4 finely chopped cloves of Garlic
1 bunch of fresh Coriander
2 tablespoons of Garamasala seasoning
Handful of roughly chopped fresh Birdseye Chillies
2 teaspoons of fresh Saffron
1 bunch of fresh Mint
200g fresh plain natural Yoghurt
25g Raisins and Sultanas
1 tablespoon of Crème Fraiche
1 tablespoon of Brown Sugar
1 tablespoon of Paprika
Rock Salt
Cracked Black pepper
Sunflower Oil
Extra Virgin Olive Oil
500g of good quality roughly diced dark red lamb
1 roughly diced Aubergine
2 roughly diced Sweet Green Peppers
1 roughly diced Sweet Red Pepper
3 large very finely chopped Red Onions
1 tin of Chick Peas, drained
1 tin of Chopped Tomatoes
Tomato Puree
100g of White Basmati Rice
Large wok or large deep ‘bucket’ frying pan
1 large saucepan
Sieve
Wooden spatula
Grater
Sharp knife
Chopping board
Method:
Start by slicing and dicing the vegetables and meat. Dry fry the Cumin seeds on a medium heat in your wok for around 2-3 minutes or until they start crackling and popping. Pour a healthy drop of Sunflower Oil and Olive Oil into the Cumin seeds and mix around. Mix in your finely chopped Red Onions, Garlic, Ginger and Birdseye Chillies and fry together until Red Onions are translucent. At this point, add teaspoons of Tomato Puree, Water and Paprika to form a thick paste. Turn heat up to medium/high and add Lamb and Sweet Peppers. While the meat is sealing, season with Rock Salt, Cracked Black Pepper and torn Coriander leaves. Mix well. When Lamb is browned, reduce heat to low and add Tinned Tomatoes, Chick Peas, Aubergine plus 500ml of water. Bring to the boil Mix in two tablespoons of Garamasala, Raisins and Sultanas, a handful of Coriander and stir well. Reduce heat and leave to simmer for 30-40 minutes. Garnish with a sprig of Coriander.
Meanwhile, bring a large saucepan of water to the boil. Add a few pinches of Saffron to water and stir. Rinse Basmati Rice under cold water for a few minutes then add it to boiling water with a pinch of salt. Bring to the boil again then reduce heat to simmer. Cook to taste.
Finely chop quite a few massive sprigs of mint – the more the better. Add to plain natural Yoghurt and mix in with a table spoon of Brown Sugar and a tablespoon of Crème Fraiche.
We have this with a selection of Poppadoms, Peshwari Naans, Chapatis and chilled Cobra beers!
A Very Moorish Curry
Feeds 4-6
Ingredients:
15g Cumin seeds
5g grated Ginger
4 finely chopped cloves of Garlic
1 bunch of fresh Coriander
2 tablespoons of Garamasala seasoning
Handful of roughly chopped fresh Birdseye Chillies
2 teaspoons of fresh Saffron
1 bunch of fresh Mint
200g fresh plain natural Yoghurt
25g Raisins and Sultanas
1 tablespoon of Crème Fraiche
1 tablespoon of Brown Sugar
1 tablespoon of Paprika
Rock Salt
Cracked Black pepper
Sunflower Oil
Extra Virgin Olive Oil
500g of good quality roughly diced dark red lamb
1 roughly diced Aubergine
2 roughly diced Sweet Green Peppers
1 roughly diced Sweet Red Pepper
3 large very finely chopped Red Onions
1 tin of Chick Peas, drained
1 tin of Chopped Tomatoes
Tomato Puree
100g of White Basmati Rice
Large wok or large deep ‘bucket’ frying pan
1 large saucepan
Sieve
Wooden spatula
Grater
Sharp knife
Chopping board
Method:
Start by slicing and dicing the vegetables and meat. Dry fry the Cumin seeds on a medium heat in your wok for around 2-3 minutes or until they start crackling and popping. Pour a healthy drop of Sunflower Oil and Olive Oil into the Cumin seeds and mix around. Mix in your finely chopped Red Onions, Garlic, Ginger and Birdseye Chillies and fry together until Red Onions are translucent. At this point, add teaspoons of Tomato Puree, Water and Paprika to form a thick paste. Turn heat up to medium/high and add Lamb and Sweet Peppers. While the meat is sealing, season with Rock Salt, Cracked Black Pepper and torn Coriander leaves. Mix well. When Lamb is browned, reduce heat to low and add Tinned Tomatoes, Chick Peas, Aubergine plus 500ml of water. Bring to the boil Mix in two tablespoons of Garamasala, Raisins and Sultanas, a handful of Coriander and stir well. Reduce heat and leave to simmer for 30-40 minutes. Garnish with a sprig of Coriander.
Meanwhile, bring a large saucepan of water to the boil. Add a few pinches of Saffron to water and stir. Rinse Basmati Rice under cold water for a few minutes then add it to boiling water with a pinch of salt. Bring to the boil again then reduce heat to simmer. Cook to taste.
Finely chop quite a few massive sprigs of mint – the more the better. Add to plain natural Yoghurt and mix in with a table spoon of Brown Sugar and a tablespoon of Crème Fraiche.
We have this with a selection of Poppadoms, Peshwari Naans, Chapatis and chilled Cobra beers!
Sunday, 25 March 2007
L-Space's Lamb with Red Wine and Redcurrant Sauce.
L-Space's Lamb with Red Wine and Redcurrant Sauce, Served With Baby Carrots, Savoy Cabbage and Garlic (and Rosemary) Mashed Potatoes.
A veritable knicker-remover.
Piss-easy, serves 2, cooks in approximately 30 minutes.
Ingredients:
For the meat:
4 x small lean lamb leg steaks
a good splash of olive oil
about 3 heaped teaspoons of redcurrant jelly
a large glass of red wine (any medium to full-bodied, cheap and drinkable wine will do)
about half a teaspoon of arrowroot, or a teaspoon of flour (optional)
For the accompaniments:
some potatoes - I prefer nice floury ones; how many depends on how hungry you are
butter - an ounce for the cabbage and to taste for the mash - preferably lots
a couple of teaspoons of olive oil
2 cloves of garlic
milk - to taste for the mash
2 teaspoons very finely chopped fresh rosemary (optional)
some baby carrots
Savoy cabbage
Instructions:
Peel the garlic, and crush the cloves a bit with the side of a heavy knife. Put the crushed cloves into a pan with your potatoes, and set them to boil. Heat the oil in a frying pan and cook steaks for about 4-6 minutes each side - don't overdo it, they will be much better slightly rare.
While the meat is cooking, chop the cabbage, and place in a pan with an ounce of melted butter and a teaspoon or so of oil. Cover, and cook gently for about 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Boiling the baby carrots will take about ten minutes too, so set these going at the same time.
Remove the steaks from the pan and keep them warm. Deglaze the pan (that just means scrape all the meaty bits off) with the wine, then add the redcurrant jelly. Let it boil until it reduces by a third to a half and thickens a bit. Optionally, for a thicker sauce, take the pan off the heat for a minute or two and sprinkle the arrowroot or flour on, whisking quickly to avoid lumps, then return to the heat to thicken. I usually don't find it necessary, to be honest.
Drain the potatoes, then return them to the heat for a minute or two to dry off and fluff up - shake the pan continuously or you'll burn them. Mash them completely (and the cloves of garlic that are in there) before adding the butter and milk. Stir the rosemary in to taste, if required.
Drain any excess from the cabbage and drain the carrots.
I present it as follows:
Arrange the cabbage into a ring towards the centre of the plate, and place the mash neatly in the middle.
Slice each steak at an angle through the short edge (so you get two thinner steaks) and fan them out on top of the potato. Chuck the carrots on the side, and pour the sauce over the top of the meat, then in a ring around the plate. To garnish, if you are so inclined, top it all with a tiny sprig of rosemary.
Wear a condom.
A veritable knicker-remover.
Piss-easy, serves 2, cooks in approximately 30 minutes.
Ingredients:
For the meat:
4 x small lean lamb leg steaks
a good splash of olive oil
about 3 heaped teaspoons of redcurrant jelly
a large glass of red wine (any medium to full-bodied, cheap and drinkable wine will do)
about half a teaspoon of arrowroot, or a teaspoon of flour (optional)
For the accompaniments:
some potatoes - I prefer nice floury ones; how many depends on how hungry you are
butter - an ounce for the cabbage and to taste for the mash - preferably lots
a couple of teaspoons of olive oil
2 cloves of garlic
milk - to taste for the mash
2 teaspoons very finely chopped fresh rosemary (optional)
some baby carrots
Savoy cabbage
Instructions:
Peel the garlic, and crush the cloves a bit with the side of a heavy knife. Put the crushed cloves into a pan with your potatoes, and set them to boil. Heat the oil in a frying pan and cook steaks for about 4-6 minutes each side - don't overdo it, they will be much better slightly rare.
While the meat is cooking, chop the cabbage, and place in a pan with an ounce of melted butter and a teaspoon or so of oil. Cover, and cook gently for about 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Boiling the baby carrots will take about ten minutes too, so set these going at the same time.
Remove the steaks from the pan and keep them warm. Deglaze the pan (that just means scrape all the meaty bits off) with the wine, then add the redcurrant jelly. Let it boil until it reduces by a third to a half and thickens a bit. Optionally, for a thicker sauce, take the pan off the heat for a minute or two and sprinkle the arrowroot or flour on, whisking quickly to avoid lumps, then return to the heat to thicken. I usually don't find it necessary, to be honest.
Drain the potatoes, then return them to the heat for a minute or two to dry off and fluff up - shake the pan continuously or you'll burn them. Mash them completely (and the cloves of garlic that are in there) before adding the butter and milk. Stir the rosemary in to taste, if required.
Drain any excess from the cabbage and drain the carrots.
I present it as follows:
Arrange the cabbage into a ring towards the centre of the plate, and place the mash neatly in the middle.
Slice each steak at an angle through the short edge (so you get two thinner steaks) and fan them out on top of the potato. Chuck the carrots on the side, and pour the sauce over the top of the meat, then in a ring around the plate. To garnish, if you are so inclined, top it all with a tiny sprig of rosemary.
Wear a condom.
Spangolin's Famous And Lovely Cottage Pie.
Spangolin's Famous And Lovely Cottage Pie.
This is my favourite. Will serve 3 easily.
Ingredients:
4 large potatoes
butter
A bit of milk
Maybe some cheese for sprinkling
500g minced beef
A carrot
Some frozen peas (about a handful)
Red oxo cube
Lea & Perrins sauce
Brown rice miso, if you have some (not completely necessary, but nice)
Method:
First, peel all your potatoes, cut into quarters, and place in half-full saucepan of water. Bring to the boil, put on a relatively high heat, cover and vent, and leave for about 20 mins or until the potatoes are soft enough to slide off a fork if poked.
Drain, put lid back on and set aside.
Chop up carrots, put in saucepan with mince. Brown all the mince, mix it up and stuff. Try not to let it stick to the bottom of the pan. When it's all brown, add your crumbled oxo cube. If you have miso, add a spoon of it to about a pint of boiling water, then pour most of it in. If not, just add about half a pint of water to the mice now.
Splash some lea and perrins in. Don't drown the mince, just enough liquid to nearly cover. Add your peas now. Turn heat down, cover and leave to simmer for 5 mins.
Now turn oven on to about 200 degrees or whatever that is for gas. While it warms, mash up potatoes with lots of butter and maybe a tiny bit of milk.
When mince is done, put mince in the bottom of a pyrex casserole dish or something similar. Use a fork to spread the mashed potato over the top, filling in all holes. Eat some mashed potato now - cook's privilege. Sprinkle lots of cheese on top if you like.
Put in oven for half an hour to brown the top. Make sure dish is sitting on a tray or something - it will bubble over.
Manwhile, make some beans, or veg if you are feeling healthy. Ta-da!
This is my favourite. Will serve 3 easily.
Ingredients:
4 large potatoes
butter
A bit of milk
Maybe some cheese for sprinkling
500g minced beef
A carrot
Some frozen peas (about a handful)
Red oxo cube
Lea & Perrins sauce
Brown rice miso, if you have some (not completely necessary, but nice)
Method:
First, peel all your potatoes, cut into quarters, and place in half-full saucepan of water. Bring to the boil, put on a relatively high heat, cover and vent, and leave for about 20 mins or until the potatoes are soft enough to slide off a fork if poked.
Drain, put lid back on and set aside.
Chop up carrots, put in saucepan with mince. Brown all the mince, mix it up and stuff. Try not to let it stick to the bottom of the pan. When it's all brown, add your crumbled oxo cube. If you have miso, add a spoon of it to about a pint of boiling water, then pour most of it in. If not, just add about half a pint of water to the mice now.
Splash some lea and perrins in. Don't drown the mince, just enough liquid to nearly cover. Add your peas now. Turn heat down, cover and leave to simmer for 5 mins.
Now turn oven on to about 200 degrees or whatever that is for gas. While it warms, mash up potatoes with lots of butter and maybe a tiny bit of milk.
When mince is done, put mince in the bottom of a pyrex casserole dish or something similar. Use a fork to spread the mashed potato over the top, filling in all holes. Eat some mashed potato now - cook's privilege. Sprinkle lots of cheese on top if you like.
Put in oven for half an hour to brown the top. Make sure dish is sitting on a tray or something - it will bubble over.
Manwhile, make some beans, or veg if you are feeling healthy. Ta-da!
Blackdogmanguitar's Chicken and Flageolet Beans
Blackdogmanguitar's Chicken and Flageolet Beans
Feeds 4
Ingredients:
4 chicken legs (whole legs, not just the drumstick or thigh)
2 medium onions, peeled and quartered
4 rashers of smoked bacon sliced into small pieces
3 whole cloves of garlic, peeled
1 ½ pints of chicken stock
Teaspoon of Thyme
Salt and pepper
Large glass of dry white wine
Teaspoon of flour
Olive oil and butter
2 tins of flageolet beans - drained
Salt and pepper
Method:
Pre-heat oven to 180c
Heat some butter and olive oil in a large frying pan on a low/medium heat and fry the onions and whole garlic cloves for about 5-7 minutes until they are golden and just starting to go brown at the edges.
Add the bacon and fry for 1-2 minutes until the fat on the bacon starts to cook
Turn the heat down to low and stir in the flour and cook for about 1 minute. This will look awful at this stage!
Add the wine and bring to the boil (this boils off the alcohol)
Add the Stock and stir in.
Now put your chicken legs in a large oven proof dish (we use a deep sided roasting tray) and pour the mixture over. Sprinkle over the thyme and season with freshly ground pepper and salt.
Cover the dish with foil and place in the middle of the oven for around 40 minutes.
Add the flageolet beans and cook for a further 30-40 minutes. You can turn the oven down and let it cook for ages at this point – though you may need to add more water.
10 minutes before you want to eat, remove the foil so that the chicken can brown.
Serve with plain boiled rice and a bit of green salad if you’re feeling healthy.
Feeds 4
Ingredients:
4 chicken legs (whole legs, not just the drumstick or thigh)
2 medium onions, peeled and quartered
4 rashers of smoked bacon sliced into small pieces
3 whole cloves of garlic, peeled
1 ½ pints of chicken stock
Teaspoon of Thyme
Salt and pepper
Large glass of dry white wine
Teaspoon of flour
Olive oil and butter
2 tins of flageolet beans - drained
Salt and pepper
Method:
Pre-heat oven to 180c
Heat some butter and olive oil in a large frying pan on a low/medium heat and fry the onions and whole garlic cloves for about 5-7 minutes until they are golden and just starting to go brown at the edges.
Add the bacon and fry for 1-2 minutes until the fat on the bacon starts to cook
Turn the heat down to low and stir in the flour and cook for about 1 minute. This will look awful at this stage!
Add the wine and bring to the boil (this boils off the alcohol)
Add the Stock and stir in.
Now put your chicken legs in a large oven proof dish (we use a deep sided roasting tray) and pour the mixture over. Sprinkle over the thyme and season with freshly ground pepper and salt.
Cover the dish with foil and place in the middle of the oven for around 40 minutes.
Add the flageolet beans and cook for a further 30-40 minutes. You can turn the oven down and let it cook for ages at this point – though you may need to add more water.
10 minutes before you want to eat, remove the foil so that the chicken can brown.
Serve with plain boiled rice and a bit of green salad if you’re feeling healthy.
Friday, 23 March 2007
Chicken Stroganoff - sent in by SpoonMeiser
SpoonMeiser's Chicken Stroganoff
Stroganoff looks classy and sophisticated, and sounds pretty impressive because it has a forrin name. Very good for a romantic meal, or to impress a lady with your cooking skills.
Ingredients
I'm more of a 'feels about right' type of cook, so my proportions here might be a bit off. Do what ever feels right.
2 x chicken breasts (about one per person)
lots x mushrooms (different types too, if possible)
some x garlic cloves (amount depending on whether you're trying to get laid or not)
about 4 spring onions
some combination of soured cream and/or natural greek yoghurt
salt and pepper (coarse ground, if possible)
cooking oil of some description (I think olive works best)
rice, preferably wild rice (you know, the one with the black bits in)
Preparation:
Finely chop the garlic.
Thinly slice the chicken breasts.
Chop the spring onions with diagonal slices
Slice all the mushrooms
Method:
Fry the chicken in a wok with a bit of the garlic.
Once cooked, take out and keep warm.
Fry the mushrooms with the rest of the garlic. Try to use as little oil as possible here.
Add the chopped spring onion, fry briefly, and add the chicken back.
Reduce temperature, add soured cream and/or natural greek yogurt.
Stir everything together over a low heat. Don't let it boil - you don't want the cream/yogurt to seperate (getting this right is basically the only piece of skill you need).
Season with salt and pepper.
Serve with wild rice and stroganoff side by side on a plate (volcano formation isn't appropriate here), and a glass of white wine.
It looks more sophisticated if you serve small portions, but being a fat bloater, I never quite manage to do that.
Stroganoff looks classy and sophisticated, and sounds pretty impressive because it has a forrin name. Very good for a romantic meal, or to impress a lady with your cooking skills.
Ingredients
I'm more of a 'feels about right' type of cook, so my proportions here might be a bit off. Do what ever feels right.
2 x chicken breasts (about one per person)
lots x mushrooms (different types too, if possible)
some x garlic cloves (amount depending on whether you're trying to get laid or not)
about 4 spring onions
some combination of soured cream and/or natural greek yoghurt
salt and pepper (coarse ground, if possible)
cooking oil of some description (I think olive works best)
rice, preferably wild rice (you know, the one with the black bits in)
Preparation:
Finely chop the garlic.
Thinly slice the chicken breasts.
Chop the spring onions with diagonal slices
Slice all the mushrooms
Method:
Fry the chicken in a wok with a bit of the garlic.
Once cooked, take out and keep warm.
Fry the mushrooms with the rest of the garlic. Try to use as little oil as possible here.
Add the chopped spring onion, fry briefly, and add the chicken back.
Reduce temperature, add soured cream and/or natural greek yogurt.
Stir everything together over a low heat. Don't let it boil - you don't want the cream/yogurt to seperate (getting this right is basically the only piece of skill you need).
Season with salt and pepper.
Serve with wild rice and stroganoff side by side on a plate (volcano formation isn't appropriate here), and a glass of white wine.
It looks more sophisticated if you serve small portions, but being a fat bloater, I never quite manage to do that.
Bacjen Pastox - Sent In By Toxie
Toxie's Bacjen Pastox
Ingredients:
Pasta
Bacon
Cheese (cheddar is good, and a bit of parmesan is nice)
One tin of chopped tomatoes
A squooge of tomato puree
One onion
Lots of garlic (or garlic to taste)
A splash of worcestershire sauce
A sprinkle of oregano
Some Olive Oil
Method:
First, chop the onion and garlic and fry them in the oil until soft. Add the chopped tomatoes, oregano, worcestershire sauce and tomato puree and simmer until everything else is ready.
Chop the bacon into bite sized lumps, spread out on a baking sheet and bake until crispy.
Meanwhile, boil your pasta.
Once pasta is cooked and bacon is cripy mix them together along with the tomato mixture.
Grate a mass of cheese on top and grill until crispy.
Voila!
Ingredients:
Pasta
Bacon
Cheese (cheddar is good, and a bit of parmesan is nice)
One tin of chopped tomatoes
A squooge of tomato puree
One onion
Lots of garlic (or garlic to taste)
A splash of worcestershire sauce
A sprinkle of oregano
Some Olive Oil
Method:
First, chop the onion and garlic and fry them in the oil until soft. Add the chopped tomatoes, oregano, worcestershire sauce and tomato puree and simmer until everything else is ready.
Chop the bacon into bite sized lumps, spread out on a baking sheet and bake until crispy.
Meanwhile, boil your pasta.
Once pasta is cooked and bacon is cripy mix them together along with the tomato mixture.
Grate a mass of cheese on top and grill until crispy.
Voila!
Lazy Thai Curry - Sent In By Noctu
For sheer fucking laziness, here's a curry of sex. From start to eating it takes anything from 15 minutes to 2 hours, depending on how many beers you drink whilst making it. No, you don't actually have to pay attention for most of that time.
Noctu's Lazy Cunt Thai Curry, With Coconut Rice.
Ingredients:
Coconut milk (At least 2 tins. I use 3. Full fat for the lardy bastards, at 80g of fat per tin. Yes. Light tastes exactly the fucking same though. If you can get tins with chunks of coconut in, bonus. You'll only need one of those.)
Chicken. (To continue the lazy theme, buy it pre cut up into cubes)
Rice.
Lemongrass (2 or 3 stalks)
Galangal (Small lump, thumb sized if you're not a midget)
Shallots (However many you fucking want. 2 or 3 works)
Garlic (2-3 cloves)
Bird Eye chillis, or anything else equally as hot. (2-3 for people who can't take heat, 15 if you like it to burn your eyes).
For the really lazy, a lot of supermarkets sell all of the above in one pre-packaged lump. Some even throw a lime in, the dirty bastards. One of those pre packaged things will do for someone who doesn't like too much spice. As always, I'd advise MORE FUCKING CHILLI.
If you want to fuck around a bit, stuff like Thai 5 spice, chinese 7 spice, kaffir lime, green curry powder, chilli flakes, anything like that, you can just whack in. No, I'm not going to tell you how much, as I never bother to measure.
The hard bit:
Peel garlic and shallots.
Cut the stalks off the chillis.
Cut about an inch off the fat ends of two pieces of lemon grass. Keep it.
Dump a tin of coconut milk, the rest of the lemon grass, the garlic, the shallots, and the chillis into a blender.
Blend the cunt (If you have a tin with chunks of coconut in, and you're only using one, I hate you. Take the chunks out, blend, put the chunks back in.).
Get a wok or frying pan nice and hot.
Whack the lot in. Inhale.
If you want a lot of sauce, whack another tin of coconut milk in now.
Whack the chicken in. Yes, raw. Fuck it, let's live a little. (If you really want to fry it first, feel free. I'm just lazy).
If you really want to go to town, cut a few bird eye chillis in half lengthways and chuck them in at this point.
Leave well alone for as long as you waWhack it in a massive fucking bowlnt (at least until the chicken's cooked, anyway). The longer you cook it, the sexier it is.
Whilst that's cooking, make the coconut rice.
Full tin of coconut milk in a pan. Depending on how much rice you're cooking, you'll probably need to add extra water.
Add rice.
Chuck in those lumps of lemon grass I told you to save. You did save them, didn't you? You sod.
Feel free to throw in any other spicy crap you feel like.
Cook, until the water is all absorbed and you're burning your pan, or until it's fucking cooked.
Drain.
Hook out the lemon grass, which will be soggy and shit by now.
Whack the rice in a massive fucking bowl, put some chicken and plenty of sauce on top of it, and fucking eat.
You bastards.
Noctu's Lazy Cunt Thai Curry, With Coconut Rice.
Ingredients:
Coconut milk (At least 2 tins. I use 3. Full fat for the lardy bastards, at 80g of fat per tin. Yes. Light tastes exactly the fucking same though. If you can get tins with chunks of coconut in, bonus. You'll only need one of those.)
Chicken. (To continue the lazy theme, buy it pre cut up into cubes)
Rice.
Lemongrass (2 or 3 stalks)
Galangal (Small lump, thumb sized if you're not a midget)
Shallots (However many you fucking want. 2 or 3 works)
Garlic (2-3 cloves)
Bird Eye chillis, or anything else equally as hot. (2-3 for people who can't take heat, 15 if you like it to burn your eyes).
For the really lazy, a lot of supermarkets sell all of the above in one pre-packaged lump. Some even throw a lime in, the dirty bastards. One of those pre packaged things will do for someone who doesn't like too much spice. As always, I'd advise MORE FUCKING CHILLI.
If you want to fuck around a bit, stuff like Thai 5 spice, chinese 7 spice, kaffir lime, green curry powder, chilli flakes, anything like that, you can just whack in. No, I'm not going to tell you how much, as I never bother to measure.
The hard bit:
Peel garlic and shallots.
Cut the stalks off the chillis.
Cut about an inch off the fat ends of two pieces of lemon grass. Keep it.
Dump a tin of coconut milk, the rest of the lemon grass, the garlic, the shallots, and the chillis into a blender.
Blend the cunt (If you have a tin with chunks of coconut in, and you're only using one, I hate you. Take the chunks out, blend, put the chunks back in.).
Get a wok or frying pan nice and hot.
Whack the lot in. Inhale.
If you want a lot of sauce, whack another tin of coconut milk in now.
Whack the chicken in. Yes, raw. Fuck it, let's live a little. (If you really want to fry it first, feel free. I'm just lazy).
If you really want to go to town, cut a few bird eye chillis in half lengthways and chuck them in at this point.
Leave well alone for as long as you waWhack it in a massive fucking bowlnt (at least until the chicken's cooked, anyway). The longer you cook it, the sexier it is.
Whilst that's cooking, make the coconut rice.
Full tin of coconut milk in a pan. Depending on how much rice you're cooking, you'll probably need to add extra water.
Add rice.
Chuck in those lumps of lemon grass I told you to save. You did save them, didn't you? You sod.
Feel free to throw in any other spicy crap you feel like.
Cook, until the water is all absorbed and you're burning your pan, or until it's fucking cooked.
Drain.
Hook out the lemon grass, which will be soggy and shit by now.
Whack the rice in a massive fucking bowl, put some chicken and plenty of sauce on top of it, and fucking eat.
You bastards.
Captn Hood-Butter’s Fuck Off Bastard Hot Curry.
This is for 4 people or one fat bastard.
Captn Hood-Butter’s Fuck Off Bastard Hot Curry.
Cut up 4 onions and fry until just soft in what would seem like too much fucking oil. Use about 4 tablespoons full of bog standard veggie oil or sunflower oil but not that fancy Olive Oil shit. Take off the heat.
Spice mix: 1 teaspoon of cumin seeds, 1 teaspoon of turmeric, 2 dessert spoons of hot madrass powder, 1 dessert spoon of garam masala, half a teaspoon of coriander powder, fenugreek, black onion seed, ginger powder, chilli flakes (if you want it bastadly hotter) a whole (and this is the important bit) star anise crushed to powder and a dessert spoon of brown sugar.
Add the spices to the oily onions and bring back to heat so you are actually frying the spices. This releases the flavours from the spices. Don’t use spice that has been sitting on the rack for fucking years. It will not work you need to go to the nearest Asian Deli and get some in packets. They are quite cheap. Now stir the fucker until you get a dark brown paste. Add half a cup of water and a whole block of creamed coconut. (In Tesco, they come in 4 separate sachets in a box, put all sodding 4 in).
Heat until the coconut is melted then add a little milk until you get a nice creamy sauce. Add whatever floats your boat, fried off chicken or prawns and simmer for 10 mins. Leave to stand for 5 mins and serve. For lamb, cube up the lamb and sear in a pan, add the cunt to the curry and simmer for a whole fucking hour or it will be as tough as fuck. Keep stirring and add a little boiled water every so often to stop it going too thick. Serve with my special onion rice and onion bharjis.
Captn Hood-Butter’s Fuck Off Bastard Hot Curry.
Cut up 4 onions and fry until just soft in what would seem like too much fucking oil. Use about 4 tablespoons full of bog standard veggie oil or sunflower oil but not that fancy Olive Oil shit. Take off the heat.
Spice mix: 1 teaspoon of cumin seeds, 1 teaspoon of turmeric, 2 dessert spoons of hot madrass powder, 1 dessert spoon of garam masala, half a teaspoon of coriander powder, fenugreek, black onion seed, ginger powder, chilli flakes (if you want it bastadly hotter) a whole (and this is the important bit) star anise crushed to powder and a dessert spoon of brown sugar.
Add the spices to the oily onions and bring back to heat so you are actually frying the spices. This releases the flavours from the spices. Don’t use spice that has been sitting on the rack for fucking years. It will not work you need to go to the nearest Asian Deli and get some in packets. They are quite cheap. Now stir the fucker until you get a dark brown paste. Add half a cup of water and a whole block of creamed coconut. (In Tesco, they come in 4 separate sachets in a box, put all sodding 4 in).
Heat until the coconut is melted then add a little milk until you get a nice creamy sauce. Add whatever floats your boat, fried off chicken or prawns and simmer for 10 mins. Leave to stand for 5 mins and serve. For lamb, cube up the lamb and sear in a pan, add the cunt to the curry and simmer for a whole fucking hour or it will be as tough as fuck. Keep stirring and add a little boiled water every so often to stop it going too thick. Serve with my special onion rice and onion bharjis.
Captn Hood-Butter’s Lamb Kebabs On A Fucking Stick.
Captn Hood-Butter’s Lamb Kebabs On A Fucking Stick.
Mix together; 1 packet of lamb mince, 1 finely chopped red onion, a tablespoon of mint jelly (or a teaspoon of mint and a teaspoon of sugar), and half a teaspoon of chilli flakes or more if you want it arse burningly hot. Add 1 egg white (save the yolk for later) and some Salt & Pepper together with a small bit of galic paste or just half a little garlic clove. Mix together well in a fucking bowl. Roll it out into cock shapes and poke a wooden stick down the length.
Glaze. Put some mint jelly in a bowl with the egg yolk and a little milk. Just a splash mind, not a whole fucking bottle. A sprinkle of chilli flakes and a few mustard seeds. Paint onto the kebabs and stick them under the grill. When done on one side, turn the cunts over, paint more glaze on and stick them back under the grill again until nice and browned off.
Mix together; 1 packet of lamb mince, 1 finely chopped red onion, a tablespoon of mint jelly (or a teaspoon of mint and a teaspoon of sugar), and half a teaspoon of chilli flakes or more if you want it arse burningly hot. Add 1 egg white (save the yolk for later) and some Salt & Pepper together with a small bit of galic paste or just half a little garlic clove. Mix together well in a fucking bowl. Roll it out into cock shapes and poke a wooden stick down the length.
Glaze. Put some mint jelly in a bowl with the egg yolk and a little milk. Just a splash mind, not a whole fucking bottle. A sprinkle of chilli flakes and a few mustard seeds. Paint onto the kebabs and stick them under the grill. When done on one side, turn the cunts over, paint more glaze on and stick them back under the grill again until nice and browned off.
Captn Hood-Butter’s Onion And/Or Egg Fried Fluffy Fucking Rice
Captn Hood-Butter’s Onion And/Or Egg Fried Fluffy Fucking Rice
For this use Basmatti rice. Nothing else will do. NOTHING.
Bring to the boil some water and add half the desired quantity of rice. Make sure there is loads of water and it don’t boil away. When the rice has embiggified and is cooked, pour the contents of the pan into a metal sieve and immediately pour a kettle of boiling water over the rice, shake all the water out and place in a bowl.
Now do the same thing again only this time add a teaspoon of turmeric to the water. When done add this rice to the other rice. You end up with white and yellow rice and it looks the bollocks.
Now get out your wok and fry some onions until well brown - almost burnt if you like. If you like egg rice, then fry some eggs into the onions and keep stirring with a wooden spoon until the egg is all broken up. Add the rice, mix together and serve. Hey Presto - Fluffy fucking rice.
For this use Basmatti rice. Nothing else will do. NOTHING.
Bring to the boil some water and add half the desired quantity of rice. Make sure there is loads of water and it don’t boil away. When the rice has embiggified and is cooked, pour the contents of the pan into a metal sieve and immediately pour a kettle of boiling water over the rice, shake all the water out and place in a bowl.
Now do the same thing again only this time add a teaspoon of turmeric to the water. When done add this rice to the other rice. You end up with white and yellow rice and it looks the bollocks.
Now get out your wok and fry some onions until well brown - almost burnt if you like. If you like egg rice, then fry some eggs into the onions and keep stirring with a wooden spoon until the egg is all broken up. Add the rice, mix together and serve. Hey Presto - Fluffy fucking rice.
Thursday, 22 March 2007
Captn Hood-Butter's Sweary Chicken & Leek Pie.
Captn Hood-Butter's Sweary Chicken & Leek Pie.
Either make or buy some puff and some short crust pastry.
Take a bastard pie dish and line with the short crust pastry and bake blind(with nothing in, so you just get a baked pie base). It may be a good idea to put some cleaned pebbles (editors note: dried beans work also) in the base to keep it from bubbling.
Fry off some 1” cubes of chicken breast and a medium onion chopped very fine.
Mmmmmmmmmm breast.
Cut leeks into 1” bits and boil until almost cooked.
Into a large bowl add 1pt of double shitting cream, a 3” squirt or a dessert spoonful of tomato puree, a teaspoon full of brown sugar, a little salt and pepper and a teaspoon of dried sage. Add the chicken and leek and stir. Sprinkle a pinch or two of chilli flakes just to give it a sparkle. Wash your hands after using chill before you embark on your next wank.
Add the contents to the pastry base and don’t forget to remove the fucking pebbles if you used them. Roll out the puff pastry (pfft I said ‘puff’) and top the pie.
Pop it in an oven at 180° until it is a nice golden brown.
Either make or buy some puff and some short crust pastry.
Take a bastard pie dish and line with the short crust pastry and bake blind(with nothing in, so you just get a baked pie base). It may be a good idea to put some cleaned pebbles (editors note: dried beans work also) in the base to keep it from bubbling.
Fry off some 1” cubes of chicken breast and a medium onion chopped very fine.
Mmmmmmmmmm breast.
Cut leeks into 1” bits and boil until almost cooked.
Into a large bowl add 1pt of double shitting cream, a 3” squirt or a dessert spoonful of tomato puree, a teaspoon full of brown sugar, a little salt and pepper and a teaspoon of dried sage. Add the chicken and leek and stir. Sprinkle a pinch or two of chilli flakes just to give it a sparkle. Wash your hands after using chill before you embark on your next wank.
Add the contents to the pastry base and don’t forget to remove the fucking pebbles if you used them. Roll out the puff pastry (pfft I said ‘puff’) and top the pie.
Pop it in an oven at 180° until it is a nice golden brown.
Badger Of Doom's Sticky Chicken & Noodles
Badger Of Doom's Sticky Chicken & Noodles
Serves: 2
Ingredients:
Two large chicken breasts on the on the bone.
Marinade:
Juice of half a lemon + some rind
2 tablespoons soy sauce
Good amount of olive oil
black pepper
1 tablespoon honey
1 tsp chilli powder
Decent amount of roughly chopped corriander
Method:
Marinade the meat for about 20-30 minutes.
Place in an oven at about 200 degrees in a deep baking tray with the marinade poured over the top and the chicken skin side down. Add some water to the tray to prevent the marinade from evaporating and sticking the tray.
Cook for about 10 minutes, then turn the chicken over to skin side up, spoon over the marinade and add some salt to the chicken skin.
Cook for a further 20+ minutes spooning the marinade over twice more. The skin should be crispy. Add more water to the tray if the marinade starts becoming too thick.
While cooking the chicken cook enough noodles for two people and drain them, leave them in the pan. Ideally they should be done just as the chicken is ready. The best way to do this is make sure the chicken is ready, turn off the oven and start the noodles as they don't take long to cook. When the noodles and chicken are done take the chicken off the tray and pour the contents of the tray into the drained noodles. Stir well then squeeze in some more lemon juice and mix again.
Serve the chicken on top of a bed of the noodles.
Tada!
Serves: 2
Ingredients:
Two large chicken breasts on the on the bone.
Marinade:
Juice of half a lemon + some rind
2 tablespoons soy sauce
Good amount of olive oil
black pepper
1 tablespoon honey
1 tsp chilli powder
Decent amount of roughly chopped corriander
Method:
Marinade the meat for about 20-30 minutes.
Place in an oven at about 200 degrees in a deep baking tray with the marinade poured over the top and the chicken skin side down. Add some water to the tray to prevent the marinade from evaporating and sticking the tray.
Cook for about 10 minutes, then turn the chicken over to skin side up, spoon over the marinade and add some salt to the chicken skin.
Cook for a further 20+ minutes spooning the marinade over twice more. The skin should be crispy. Add more water to the tray if the marinade starts becoming too thick.
While cooking the chicken cook enough noodles for two people and drain them, leave them in the pan. Ideally they should be done just as the chicken is ready. The best way to do this is make sure the chicken is ready, turn off the oven and start the noodles as they don't take long to cook. When the noodles and chicken are done take the chicken off the tray and pour the contents of the tray into the drained noodles. Stir well then squeeze in some more lemon juice and mix again.
Serve the chicken on top of a bed of the noodles.
Tada!
ImNotRightBotheredMe's Quick & Sexy Italian
ImNotRightBotheredMe's Quick & Sexy Italian
Ingredients:
1 chopped red onion
Garlic (to taste)
Olive oil
Finely chopped salami
Passata
Pasta
Lots of black pepper
Method:
Cook pasta in plenty of salted boiling water until done
Fry onions & garlic in olive oil (whilst pasta cooks).
When onions and garlic has softend, add chopped salami & fry gently for around a minute
Add the passata, and the cooked pasta. Stir well.
Add LOADS of freshly ground pepper.
Fucking EAT
Lazy Bastard Pasta - Sent In By I'mNotRightBotheredMe
I'mNotRightBotheredMe's Lazy Bastard Pasta
Ingredients:
Pasta
1 carton passata with garlic & basil
Creme fraiche
Method:
Cook pasta in plenty of salty boiling water. When cooked so the pasta still has some 'bite' to it (al dente), drain and put pasta back into the warm saucepan.
Add passata & heat through gently. When almost ready to serve, add a dollop of creme fraiche. It is so very lazy, but really quite delicious.
Ingredients:
Pasta
1 carton passata with garlic & basil
Creme fraiche
Method:
Cook pasta in plenty of salty boiling water. When cooked so the pasta still has some 'bite' to it (al dente), drain and put pasta back into the warm saucepan.
Add passata & heat through gently. When almost ready to serve, add a dollop of creme fraiche. It is so very lazy, but really quite delicious.
Wednesday, 21 March 2007
Cauliflower Cheese With Chorizo - Sent In By Hidden Mouse Sleeping Kitten
Hidden Mouse Sleeping Kitten's Vague Measurement Cauliflower Cheese (with Chorizo).
Serves two (probably).
Good stodge-athon after a lovely walk outside/Comfort food
Saucepan Intensive!
Ingredients:
One large cauliflower head (nice looking, clean, respectable)
Grated cheese – as much as you want (cheddar or other favourite cheese)
One large onion
Chorizo – as much as you want
Milk (about a pint but have excess available)
2 tablespoons of flour (any kind will do)
2 tablespoons of butter
Nutmeg (whole or grated – whole preferably)
Pepper (fresh ground if available)
Fresh or dried chillis (optional)
Grated Parmesan cheese (optional)
Method:
Heat oven to 180oC ish.
Grate cheese.
Chop onion.
Slice chorizo thinly (for the dentally challenged, you may wish to remove the skin – but I never bother).
Chop chilli.
Wash the cauliflower, remove all green bits (chuck in the compost) & neatly chop the white stuff into bite-sized chunks.
Boil a saucepan of water & then add in the chopped cauliflower. Boil for five minutes & then drain. Place cauliflower in an ovenproof casserole dish and set aside.
In another saucepan (or the original pan, dried), melt the butter & then stir in the flour. On a low heat, add more butter or flour until you get a thick smooth gloopy paste. This is the basis of your cheese sauce. Keep stirring, don’t let it burn or lumpify (this is why you chop everything first).
On an even heat, pour in a bit of milk & keep stirring until it thickens up. Pour in a bit more & repeat. Keep stirring. Repeat this until you have lots of sauce (or run out of milk). Keep stirring. Grate in some fresh nutmeg, or add a couple of pinches of ready ground nutmeg. Keep stirring. Grind in as much pepper as you want. Now add the grated cheese & stir it all in until it melts. Turn off the heat, or you will have to keep stirring!
Meanwhile, with your other set of hands, fry the onion, chorizo & chopped chillis together with a smidgin of olive oil (the sausage is quite oily anyway). After five minutes (or when the onion looks nice & soft, mix the whole lot into the cheese sauce & turn the heat on for a bit to let the flavours permeate.
Dump the sauce/chorizo/onion mix over the top of the cauliflower in your casserole dish. Add more pepper & the Parmesan cheese if desired.
Pop it all in the centre of your pre-heated oven for about 45 mins, or until the cheese on top is all golden & bubbly.
Eat it you fool!
Serves two (probably).
Good stodge-athon after a lovely walk outside/Comfort food
Saucepan Intensive!
Ingredients:
One large cauliflower head (nice looking, clean, respectable)
Grated cheese – as much as you want (cheddar or other favourite cheese)
One large onion
Chorizo – as much as you want
Milk (about a pint but have excess available)
2 tablespoons of flour (any kind will do)
2 tablespoons of butter
Nutmeg (whole or grated – whole preferably)
Pepper (fresh ground if available)
Fresh or dried chillis (optional)
Grated Parmesan cheese (optional)
Method:
Heat oven to 180oC ish.
Grate cheese.
Chop onion.
Slice chorizo thinly (for the dentally challenged, you may wish to remove the skin – but I never bother).
Chop chilli.
Wash the cauliflower, remove all green bits (chuck in the compost) & neatly chop the white stuff into bite-sized chunks.
Boil a saucepan of water & then add in the chopped cauliflower. Boil for five minutes & then drain. Place cauliflower in an ovenproof casserole dish and set aside.
In another saucepan (or the original pan, dried), melt the butter & then stir in the flour. On a low heat, add more butter or flour until you get a thick smooth gloopy paste. This is the basis of your cheese sauce. Keep stirring, don’t let it burn or lumpify (this is why you chop everything first).
On an even heat, pour in a bit of milk & keep stirring until it thickens up. Pour in a bit more & repeat. Keep stirring. Repeat this until you have lots of sauce (or run out of milk). Keep stirring. Grate in some fresh nutmeg, or add a couple of pinches of ready ground nutmeg. Keep stirring. Grind in as much pepper as you want. Now add the grated cheese & stir it all in until it melts. Turn off the heat, or you will have to keep stirring!
Meanwhile, with your other set of hands, fry the onion, chorizo & chopped chillis together with a smidgin of olive oil (the sausage is quite oily anyway). After five minutes (or when the onion looks nice & soft, mix the whole lot into the cheese sauce & turn the heat on for a bit to let the flavours permeate.
Dump the sauce/chorizo/onion mix over the top of the cauliflower in your casserole dish. Add more pepper & the Parmesan cheese if desired.
Pop it all in the centre of your pre-heated oven for about 45 mins, or until the cheese on top is all golden & bubbly.
Eat it you fool!
Amorous Badger's Dead Classy And Sophisticated Chilli Prawns
Badger's Dead Classy And Sophisticated Chilli Prawns.
For the cooking inept who are trying to impress teh ladies. It looks good, tastes great and it's so easy to prepare that you still have time for a preparatory wank before your date arrives.
Ingredients:
About 300g of the best prawns you can find.
Shell on if possible but if you're too spacky or lazy to peel 'em, then peeled ones is good.
Fresh chillis(strength to taste, I prefer HOT ones cos you need less and it brings out the flavour of the prawns really well if you get it right).
Oil of your choice. I recommend lemon, garlic, good olive oil or chilli oil if you prefer not to risk chopping chillis/genitalia related incidents after cooking (especially important if you are hoping to get sexings).
Parmesan flakes, SERIOUS Stilton or some good Feta.
Nice pasta, multicoloured pasta is great if you can get it but it's really not that important what shape you get, amount to preference.
Salad. Again to preference. I like sweet peppers(red orange and yellow ones), rocket and/or good cress.
(optional)
French bread
Dipping oils and/or vinegars to taste.
How it's done:
Prepare your salad.
Prepare your cheese.
Chop and fry the chillis in your oil.
Prepare the prawns. This may involve simply opening the bag or shelling them. If shelling them, leave the tails on.
I don't know why.
Fry the prawns until done.
If you are using raw ones this until they are no long grey blue and are pinky-red(this is very important if you wish to avoid a dose of the shits).
While you are doing this cook your pasta.
For the cooking inept, about ten minutes in a pan of boiling water is enough.
You spack.
Add salad to circumference of plate.
Add pasta to centre of plate.
Place cooked prawns on top of pasta.
Add cheese to taste to salad and pasta, alternatively before serving put all your salad and pasta in a big dish, chuck in your cheese and toss it up(mix it round with your hands, not wank into it).
Serve.
Recommended drinks to go with this :
Greene King Beer To Dine For
A Good German or Czech Pilsner
San Miguel.
A nice light red wine(read the bloody labels in the shop, it's not HARD).
A light, not too sweet fruit juice or lightly flavoured mineral water if you MUST be poncey.
Editor's note - I don't usually put the recommended drinks in as this is down to you lot to decide for yourselves, but he is The Boyfriend, and as such gets away with these things
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