Captn Hood-Butter's Sweary Chicken & Leek Pie.

Captn Hood-Butter's Sweary Chicken & Leek Pie.


Either make or buy some puff and some short crust pastry.

Take a bastard pie dish and line with the short crust pastry and bake blind(with nothing in, so you just get a baked pie base). It may be a good idea to put some cleaned pebbles (editors note: dried beans work also) in the base to keep it from bubbling.

Fry off some 1” cubes of chicken breast and a medium onion chopped very fine.
Mmmmmmmmmm breast.

Cut leeks into 1” bits and boil until almost cooked.

Into a large bowl add 1pt of double shitting cream, a 3” squirt or a dessert spoonful of tomato puree, a teaspoon full of brown sugar, a little salt and pepper and a teaspoon of dried sage. Add the chicken and leek and stir. Sprinkle a pinch or two of chilli flakes just to give it a sparkle. Wash your hands after using chill before you embark on your next wank.

Add the contents to the pastry base and don’t forget to remove the fucking pebbles if you used them. Roll out the puff pastry (pfft I said ‘puff’) and top the pie.

Pop it in an oven at 180° until it is a nice golden brown.